Artificial intelligence on a date: a help or a hindrance?
Technology has permeated every aspect of life, and romantic relationships are no exception. Today, dating apps use complex machine learning algorithms to predict your compatibility with other users. They analyse your likes, messages, response times and even the emotional tone of your conversations to suggest “perfect” matches. Some platforms have already implemented neural networks that generate icebreakers or recommend topics of conversation based on the profiles of potential matches.
How algorithms try to find us love
But can AI really know who is right for us? Digital relationships expert Mark Williams argues: “Algorithms are good at identifying patterns, but they don’t understand human chemistry. Compatibility isn’t just about shared interests, but also energy, tone of voice and the way someone laughs. You can’t measure that in bytes”. He also adds that algorithms often focus on static data (age, education, hobbies) and ignore dynamic factors, such as emotional state or stage of life.
Nevertheless, many users trust AI-powered matchmaking, believing it saves time and increases the chances of success. According to a Pew Research survey, 45 per cent of American adults believe that algorithms can be useful for filtering out unsuitable candidates. Some apps already feature an “AI wingman” function, which suggests the best way to respond to a conversation partner or what topics to bring up on a date. Whilst this is convenient, there is a downside: people stop relying on their intuition and genuine communication, which may ultimately lead to even greater disappointment.
The danger of algorithmic predictability
When we hand over the choice to AI, we risk ending up in an ‘information bubble’. Algorithms tend to suggest similar people to us because this minimises the risk of rejection (their job is to keep you on the app, not to find you a partner). As a result, we only see options that already fit our stereotypes, and we miss out on the chance to meet someone unusual who might broaden our horizons. For example, if you’ve always been looking for blonde lawyers, the algorithm will only suggest them, whilst a red-haired artist might be your soulmate, but you’ll never see her.
Furthermore, over-reliance on AI kills spontaneity. Flirting, leaving things unsaid, and a touch of awkwardness are what make meeting someone special come alive. When every message you send is edited by a neural network, you lose the opportunity to express your unique personality. Psychologist Helen Fisher, a renowned expert on romantic attraction, notes that attraction is largely built on the unexpected, whilst algorithms are, by definition, predictable. They cannot simulate that spark that arises from a chance joke or an awkward silence.
Privacy concerns are also a cause for alarm. For AI to work effectively, it requires access to a vast amount of personal data — from your messages to your geolocation history. Not everyone is prepared to pay such a price for convenience. In 2025, several high-profile scandals involving data leaks from dating apps forced users to think carefully about whom they were entrusting their secrets to. AI can be useful, but it shouldn’t become the main matchmaker.
Face-to-face interaction as an antidote to digital fatigue
In contrast to the algorithmic approach, more and more people are opting for analogue or semi-analogue ways of meeting people. Social media and apps aren’t going away, but their role is shifting: they’re becoming merely a bridge for initial contact, whilst the main action moves to real-life conversation. Organisers of offline dating events have noted a 30 per cent increase in participants over the past year — people want face-to-face interaction without machines acting as intermediaries.
And this is where video chat proves to be the happy medium. It allows you to see the person, hear their voice and pick up on subtle expressions — all things that cannot be processed by algorithms. Unlike text-based messaging, a video call provides instant feedback, and you yourself, without the help of AI, decide whether there is a ‘spark’. You can notice how the other person smiles with their eyes, how they gesture, how the pauses are filled with meaning – no algorithm can pick up on these nuances.
The Joingy chat is built precisely on the principle of random live communication. You don’t rely on machine-generated matches, but trust your own intuition and chance. This brings back the element of surprise, which is so important for genuine chemistry to develop. On Joingy chat, there are no compatibility scores — there’s just you, your conversation partner and the here and now. This approach hones your ability to quickly read another person’s emotional state and adapt — a skill that will come in handy in real-life relationships too.
The balance between technology and humanity
AI shouldn’t be demonised – it can be a useful tool, for example, for filtering out clearly unsuitable matches (based on location, age or basic interests) or for offering a nudge if you’re stuck at the start. However, relying on it as your main matchmaker would be a mistake. After all, you’re looking for a person, not a statistical model.
The key is to maintain a critical mindset and stay in touch with your feelings. Ask yourself: ‘Why did I choose this profile? Is this what I want, or has the algorithm imposed it on me?’ And always leave room for genuine interaction — whether that’s a face-to-face meeting or a video call on Joingy. Try switching off all your apps at least once a week and joining a random video chat to practise spontaneous conversation without AI prompts. Ultimately, relationships are built by people, not machines, and the sooner we accept this, the happier we’ll be.
